IT is the life of a conceited Arsenal fan to not really care about who wins the Carabao Cup final next week. I certainly don’t.

The naff sponsorship is highly appropriate for a competition which has been steadily downgraded over the years.

Among many monikers, the same trophy has been called “the Milk Cup” after milk, “the Littlewoods” after your gran’s favourite catalogue and “the Rumbelows” – after an electricals firm which went from having its name at Wembley to going bust in a couple of years.

There was a bit of fizz when it was called the Coca Cola Cup but still that sounded tacky.

It also been called the Worthington Cup after a “creamflow” beer which nobody wants to drink.

We clever called it the Worthnothing Cup when Spurs lifted it.

So even the sponsors don’t hang around for long and yet we are all supposed to be excited about the final a week on Sunday between Liverpool and Newcastle United.

The only thing that matters when this competition begins is that Spurs don’t win it – because the trophy drought down the Lane gets sillier by the year – and also that Anthony Gordon doesn’t win it.

It felt like some football karma at work when the chipy young winger was sent off in Newcastle’s FA Cup – a proper cup! – match against Brighton for a violent shove.

There is no sadness that he now looks set to be suspended for the Carabao Cup final.

Why? Call us childish, but there was no need for Gordon to make a “stay humble” crack about Arsenal after the semi-finals.

Newcastle, for all their chest puffing, are worse than even Tottenham when it comes to an absence of silverware. They haven’t won a major since the Fairs Cup at the end of the 1960s.

Before the Geordies write in, sorry – they did win “the Texaco Cup” twice in the 1970s, a forgotten trophy sponsored by the petrol firm for British teams not good enough for Europe.

Wow, they also won the Anglo-Italian Cup in the same flared decade, and who can forget the majestic Intertoto Cup success in 2006.

A cup called Carabao seems one for them.